Strictly Personal

Let me start at the beginning for this post.

In the spring of 2001 I was working at what has been my favourite job so far in my career. It was near my home, I was working with some amazing people and doing really interesting work. Each day I got up and looked forward to going to work. I lived not far from my parents and visited with them on a semi-regular basis.

It was during this period my Mom was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She was angry. She was angry because of the disease and what she had to look forward to but she was also angry because of the disease and what it was already doing to her mind. It was causing her to focus on events form the long past with clarity like it happened just yesterday. The disease was in the early stages at this time. My Mom was mostly still my Mom except for the anger. She was disoriented sometimes and she was forgetting how to do some things but mostly she was still the person I grew up with.

In the spring of 2002 the company I was working for closed. This happened just a few months after I had purchased new car and a week into quitting smoking. My Mom was still much the same. At times she would get angry and leave the house. My Dad would call and Lin and I would come over and drive around looking for her. We always found her or she always found her way home but sometimes it took longer than others and it was always a stressful time.

Over time the anger faded but as the anger faded so did a few more parts of my Mom. There was still a tinge of anger in some of her attempts at humour. She was forgetting a few more things and requiring more help but there was still a lot of the Mom I loved there. She wasn't forgetting her family but she was forgetting how to do the day to day things in life. How to make coffee or use the microwave for example.

In February of 2004 I had an opportunity to begin working for the company I am with now. They were much smaller at the time and it was good work with good people and they were flexible when I needed to do some things for my family. There were other opportunities that have come up since that time including other jobs that would have required moving but I have stayed here in Chilliwack for my family.

For the last approximately 2 years my routine most nights after work has been to stop by my parents home and spend an hour or so with them. I was there to help in any way I can. To talk to my Dad because he misses having someone around to just talk about the day and news and life with. Some days I was a referee or peace maker. I listened to Dad tel me how my Mom has been that day and I listen to my Mom complain about her frustrations and I did my best to try and alleviate it some what. For the last while I had also been feeding my Mom at dinner as well as her coordination had deteriorated as a result of the disease. There was a lot less of Mom left in the person that I fed and helped Dad take care of. But sometimes she came out briefly in a laugh or a smile or a smart ass comment. My Dad lived for those moments and as a family when we had them we grabbed hold of them as tight as we could.

Since the beginning of this year my Mom had been getting a little worse each week and month. She has never forgotten me, my sister or my Dad but she was disoriented more often than before. She required more assistance than before. Most noticeably for us there was less and less of my Mom there.

On Thursday June 26th my Mom passed away.

In the end she really wasn't my Mom anymore. There was nothing left of the person who raised me. The person who worried about me and fed me and loved me unconditionally. It's really hard right now remembering the really good things about my Mom because we have been living with the Alzheimer's for so long.

We are having a celebration of my Mom's life next Saturday July 5th . If you knew my Mom please come by and share a story with us. Help us to remember her in better times.